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The bed engineered for shitcoin hands who’ve Lost everything else.
1 $furniture
✓ In stock
Availbility
Home delivery: 3-5 days
In store pickup: Check availbility
Description
- Frame built from decommissioned ethereum mining rigs
- Headboard padded with proof-of-stake pillows that never yield
- Mattress core stuffed with shredded ICO whitepapers for maximum irony
- Bed legs forged from burned-out GPU fans—keeps you cool while your portfolio burns
- Sleeve pockets sized for cold wallets and empty hopes
- No assembly required: just collapse onto it when your broker hits ‘sell all’
Specs
| Overall Dimensions | 200 cm L × 150 cm W × 35 cm H of existential comfort |
| Max Supported Weight | 250 kg of unshakeable diamond-hand determination |
| Mattress Thickness | 20 cm of high-density whitepaper-shred fill |
| Frame Material | Reclaimed ASIC casing and GPU remnants |
| Upholstery | NFT-grade velvet—one-of-one tactile disappointment |
| Assembly | Drop-in-place: no tools, just tears |
| Recommended For | Shitcoin diamond hands who’ve bag-held every alt and NFT |